I just finished writing an email to Kalli, my cyber friend at fitandfortysomething. Stating how I was so excited.
I was/am excited because I went shopping last weekend and went to American Eagle for the first time. A client had been in the
day before wearing really cute jeans. She swore to me that I would be a 6, possibly a 4 in them. This intrigued me as I am ALWAYS.. no matter WHERE I shop,
a 10. That’s right.. double digit baby. Not proud of this fact,, but it is what it is!! I long for an 8. Twice in my life I have fit into 8’s and loved it.. but slowly always slid back into 10ville. So to be told I might be a 6?? Even a 4??? Well, I was going to be at AE when the slid open the gate!
Sure enough.. size 6!! Not only fit, but felt good. Wasn’t cutting the circulation off or anything! Another pair of pants I was an 8, got those too! I felt like I was floating on a cloud, won the lottery.. beaming.
Yesterday it was cool enough to wear those size 6’s. I pulled them on, with a cute sailor striped shirt and flats. I am not even kidding when I say I was walking differently, holding myself differently. I noticed myself differently. Normally I try to not be seen. To blend in, especially in spaces with lots of people. Today was different. I had my shoulders back, felt worthy of being seen. As the day went on I realized how silly this whole thing is that we perpetuate. Nothing had changed for me. I am the same size I always am. Its just the jeans are MARKED different so I let the number make me FEEL different. We are that way when we step on the scale as well. Have you ever felt really good when you have woken up? Could swear you lost a pound or two? Then you step on the scale to see it has not budged.. or worse,, gone up? ALl of a sudden you feel fat and bad!
I was thinking of this as I walked into the grocery store feeling different. Yet if these said 10 on them, like they probably would anywhere else I would have been holding self differently. All because of a number..or label … we put so much behind those numbers.. we put the label there (big, small, skinny, overweight). WE have been trained to do this. It was so blatant to me that I have bought into this. I LOVED how I felt yesterday in those jeans. I want to feel that way every day… but not because of a number. Obviously the ability is there as nothing had changed but the number on my jeans.. I need to figure out how to make it a permanent feeling no matter what numbers I see.. on jeans, scale etc.. I don’t have an answer..yet.. but will be working on it!
Anyone have any idea’s on this?