I have been thinking on my eating habits thru the years lately. When I was in high school, I was not athletic. I played no sports, and I ate what was given to me in the 80’s. Every day after school I would go to my friend’s house and we would eat ritz crackers with peanut butter, while watching GH. Oh, also there were pepperidge farm milano cookies involved most days too! We also started the whole drinking thing, which would lead us to McDonald’s before curfew. I was a tad over weight.. all chub, no muscle.
Then I went to college.. Let the games begin!! I was ALL about drinking. As much and as often as I could. This would be followed by Pat’s “double dough, double cheese pizza at midnight AND McDonald’s quarter pounder with cheese and large fry the next day. As one might guess, I gained weight.. oh not just the freshman 15. I ballooned up 35lbs. I tipped the scales at 192lbs. I thought I was living the dream. My body reflected otherwise. My last year in school, thru a series of events, I came to my senses and stopped drinking. A friend introduced me to the rowing machine at the school gym. By the end of the school year I had lost 25 lbs. By the end of that summer the full 35 were gone. My body reflected a new way of being.
Fast forward 23 years and my body is still reflected how I choose to treat it and live. In these past years, my eating habits have waxed and waned, and taken many twists in turns thru various diets, and phases. I have also become an “athlete”. I started running in 1990, then hiking. Found Karate when my girls were 3 months old.. not only lost the remaining 10 baby pounds, but another 6 due to the rigorous workout it entailed. After getting my black belt, I lost interest in that and the 6 reappeared, to come and go depending on what I am in to. Going thru a divorce got me to my thinnest point ever.. 10 pounds below the low karate weight reaching 138lbs. I am 5’8 and large boned so that was pretty thin for my frame. . I thought it was great, others were starting to worry. Once , that leveled off (the stress) the weight did too and I went back to my norm.
The past 6-10 years yoga has become a constant and something I know will always be important in my “regime”. I am not that flexible, and there is a lot I cannot do, but yoga is teaching me acceptance. I have also in the past year come to a place of acceptance with my weight. I have not nor ever will be a tiny girl, a size 2 or 4 or even 6! When I am at my lowest an 8 is where I am at.. but usually I hover at a 10. I am finally okay with that. What has really struck me of late is the realization that a HEALTHY BODY IS A PRIVILEGE!. Not everyone is granted this and it is something so many of us take for granted. I for one have done that for most of my life! I am seeing however how blessed I have been to have a body that has continued to bounce back no matter how I treat it for the past 46 years. I am seeing how thru the years my body reflects how I treat it. I am seeing this in others too. You can really look around and tell who takes care of this precious gift and who doesn’t. I am FINALLY at a point where I could care less about the latest diet.. I just want to be healthy. I want to enjoy healthy food and my body for all it can do. I want to go out and celebrate here and there and be okay with that knowing that it will level back off as it has in the past once the celebration is over. Thru yoga, eating right and I think the passage of time, I have put down the war I have waged with my weight and body.. it was exhausting!! What a relief! Hopefully my body is reflecting this new lightness of being and acceptance of what is! Before when someone would tell me I looked good I would cringe and immediately think “oh.. I need to lose 10 lbs. etc” Now I can actually let that compliment sink and and think, “ya know what? I agree!” For ME, with all I have it put it thru, my body DOES look pretty damn good!” Thank you body!!