So crazy. Gratitude was not the g word I was going to use today,, but after last night and this morning it is a must! So anyone who knows me knows I have suffered from self-doubt pretty much my whole life.. not good enough, smart enough, thin enough.. yada yada. Some days I have it under control, but then others it rears it’s ugly head with a vengeance! Yesterday was one of those days. I had decided that I was not good enough to be a yoga teacher.
I started teaching yoga last January. I only teach once a week, but I love it. However, I find myself constantly comparing myself to other teachers who I think I should be like. One in particular, her body can do things I will only dream of doing. Between the fact that I am 10 years older than her and don’t have a dancing or gymnast back ground, a lot of the super “intense” postures will probably never come to me. She also lives in an area and works in a studio where there is a lot of possibility for her… she I believe, will become quite well known for yoga. For some reason I have been comparing myself to her and because I don’t even register on the same radar feeling less than. Last night I saw something that she is getting ready to do and went to bed feeling like a complete failure and ready to to resign from “trying to teach” yoga. Deciding that if I can’t be at that level, than I should not be teacher at all. Feeling like I am just an imposter who has no business in the business, I was giving up. Someone once told me that comparison is the thief of joy. They got that right!
Wondering what this has to do with Gratitude?? Well, this morning, in my resigned state, I started the coffee, flipped on Facebook and voila! A student from my class had posted this article: http://bodyessentialspt.com/ode-to-vinyasa!! I had no idea the impact that my class has had on her. The timing is so significant for me. What a way to start my day! GRATEFUL . For the vinyasa that I love, I have helped someone else love it too. I am also grateful because that is what it is all about. Just reaching one other. If no one else ever falls in love with it because of me, I have still done what I came here to do.. I hope you will read her article as she puts it SO well. I went to bed with a heavy defeated heart and woke up so much lighter thanks to her post! So grateful.
I am grateful, that I woke up this morning remembering why I came to yoga.. not to become the best teacher out there or a “yogalebirty”. I came to it because it helps my body, mind and spirit. Maybe why I have had the pull to teach for so long is because I CAN’T do all the crazy poses, but I can show others who can’t that yoga is still accessible to them. Going forward, I am grateful to feel a shift in this comparing state to one of acceptance and gratitude for what I CAN do.
SO my friends, that is my story. What about you? Where can you be grateful today? Where do you have yourself convinced of something that you might be completely wrong of? Or who might you be helping in ways you can’t even imagine? On that note, I am super grateful for my online community. They have inspired me with their workouts and recipe sharing. It is the light side on the internet.
I am grateful if even only one person reads this post. Please share below what you are grateful for..namasteh